


Very Close Talking

by didntwanderstillgotlost



Series: AU Where They Learned How to Translate Their Thoughts into Words Like Adult Humans [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel and Dean Winchester Use Their Words, Coda, Episode: s10e03 Soul Survivor, Fix-It of Sorts, M/M, One Shot, Post-Demon Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21803383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/didntwanderstillgotlost/pseuds/didntwanderstillgotlost
Summary: This is a coda for 10x03. I always felt like Dean and Cas's conversation was cut short at the end of the episode, so I fixed it.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: AU Where They Learned How to Translate Their Thoughts into Words Like Adult Humans [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1571155
Kudos: 38





	Very Close Talking

**Author's Note:**

> This is a coda for 10x03. I always felt like Dean and Cas's conversation was cut short at the end of the episode, so I fixed it.

Dean was looking through some of his old pictures when there was a knock on his door. He glanced up. It was either Sam or Cas, and he really didn’t want to see either one of them at the moment. He felt sick to his stomach. He remembered everything he had done as a demon, and it was taking every ounce of his strength not to kill himself.

“Yeah,” he said because he knew whoever it was wasn’t going to go away. The door opened and Cas came in.

“You look terrible.” Dean laughed.

“You know, it wouldn’t kill you to lie every now and again.”

“No, it wouldn’t kill me. I just…you…” Dean waved him off.

“Forget it. Well, you, on the other hand, you…looking good. So…are you back?”

“At least temporarily. It’s a long story. Crowley, stolen grace. There’s a female outside in the car.” Dean stared at the angel, fighting the guilt and jealousy rolling around inside him. Cas shook his head. “Another time.”

“Well, thank you for, um…stepping in when you did.” Cas nodded. “What did Sam say? Does he want a divorce?” Dean made the joke, but he was terrified of the answer. He knew he didn’t deserve his brother’s forgiveness. He didn’t deserve Cas’ either, but he couldn’t bare the thought of losing them.

“I’m sure Sam knows that whatever you said or what you did, it wasn’t really you. It certainly wasn’t all you.”

“I tired to kill him, Cas.”

“Dean. You two have been through so much. Look, you’re brothers. It’d take a lot more than trying to kill Sam with a hammer to make him want to walk away.”

“You realize how screwed up our lives are that that even makes sense?” Cas laughed and it made Dean smile a little. “I’m glad you’re here, man.” Cas started to leave, then turned back.

“Hey, maybe you should, um…take some time before you get back to work. Allow yourself to heal. It’s, uh…I don’t know. The timing might be right. Heaven and Hell, they seem reasonably back in order. It’s quiet out there.” Dean nodded and Cas went to leave again.

“Wait,” Dean said before he could stop himself. Cas turned back to him again.

“What is it, Dean?” Dean felt like he could throw up, but he needed to at least try to get the words out.

“I just…wanted to say that I’m sorry.”

“Dean, you don’t have to—.”

“Just let me finish. You’ve got no idea what I did. All the horrible things that me and Crowley did just for kicks. It’s eating me up inside, and I’ll have to live with it for the rest of my life. But what I did to you and Sam, I can’t even begin to explain how sorry I am. While I was out there destroying lives for fun, you were dying, and I did nothing to help you. I didn’t even care. You can only change out the batteries so many times before it stops working, and you should have been trying to find a way to save yourself, instead of following my sorry ass all over the place. And worrying about me probably wasn’t helping your situation at all. I’m so sorry I put you through that.”

Dean felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He still needed to give his speech to Sam, but at least he had cleared the air with the one person he actually cared about. Other than his brother, of course. He took a deep breath and waited for Cas to walk away. That’s what any sane person would do. No one in their right mind would put up with even half the shit Dean had done. Cas smiled softly and closed Dean’s bedroom door.

“Dean, I don’t care what you did during your time as a demon. We’ve all done things we wish we hadn’t. Believe me. All we can do is accept our mistakes and try to move on. And Sam and I, we aren’t going anywhere. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through, but we’ll help you through it. Whatever you need.”

“I appreciate that, Cas, but you can’t speak for Sam. He probably hates me.”

“I can assure you, your brother is only happy that you’re alive and well.” Dean didn’t argue, but he wouldn’t believe it until he heard it from Sam. And maybe not even then.

“And what about you, huh? How can you even begin to forgive me for this?” Cas closed most of the distance between them and placed his hand on the hunter’s shoulder.

“You’ve forgiven me for far worse. We fight sometimes, Dean, but there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t forgive you for because I know you have the best intentions. We all do.” There was a beat of silence after that as Cas’s words settled over Dean. The electricity in the room seemed to crackle, and Dean had a feeling it wasn’t Cas’s borrowed mojo. He stared at the angel. His stomach was twisted up in knots again, for an entirely different reason. He had felt this before, and even more so when he was a demon. Being completely uninhibited had done wonders for him. He had ignored it because he had been on summer vacation with Crowley, but now that he was face to face with his angel again, the feelings were beginning to resurface.

Cas wasn’t going to leave him. It seemed that, no matter what, Cas was always going to be right by his side. That meant something to him. The angel meant something to him. Something more than friendship, and something different than brothers. He closed the distance between them just a little bit more. Just enough so that, if either of them moved even a fraction of an inch, their lips would meet.

“Dean…what…what are you doing?” Cas didn’t sound angry, just confused, and maybe a little nervous.

“I like to think of it as…very close talking,” Dean replied with a sly grin. Cas chuckled.

“Do you have anything else to say?” Dean shook his head slowly, his lips just barely touching Cas’s top lip.

“I don’t think so. Not right now, anyway.”

“All right then.” Dean threaded his fingers through the hair at the base of Cas’s neck and pressed their lips together. It was soft, warm, and even better than Dean had imagined it would be. When they parted, they were both smiling. Dean moved his hand down to Cas’s shoulder.

“You’ll be okay,” Cas said. “I promise.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know exactly how many parts this is going to be and I won't have a regular updating schedule. I'll probably update it whenever I'm bored at work (which is basically every day).
> 
> Also, the series title was pitched to me by one of my Tumblr friends, so shout out to them. They know who they are.


End file.
